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Choosing an engagement ring can be such a big decision. I mean, your partner is going to wear this ring for the rest of their life, right? While choosing an engagement ring is a major decision, it doesn’t have to be a stressful one! You’ll find out that when you start to tell people that you are ring shopping, they will give you all sorts of opinions and “rules” for how to pick an engagement ring, but I’m here to do the opposite. Here are 4 rules that you don’t have to follow when you are choosing an engagement ring.
Getting engaged is one of the most important events of your life, so it is not surprising that certain “rules” have developed around it. This includes different traditions for the ring. There are standards for how much to spend on an engagement ring, what it should look like, how you present it to your girlfriend, and so on.
But who wrote these rules, anyway? And are they really necessary? Here are a few things to consider as you are figuring out how to choose an engagement ring for your future spouse.
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Rule #1: NOT to follow when choosing an engagement ring: Go with a traditional diamond ring.
Remember: Different women have different tastes in jewelry.
A lot of people have a preconceived notion of what an engagement ring is “supposed” to look like: it needs to be round, the gem needs to be as big as possible, it should be a clear diamond, etc. But maybe your fiance wants a princess cut engagement ring, or several small diamonds, or a blue gem. Maybe your fiance doesn’t even want a stone in their engagement ring. For this reason, many men go shopping with their new or soon-to-be fiances, or ask for help from someone who knows their taste in jewelry. If you are feeling hesitant about the style of engagement ring that you are going to buy, don’t feel discouraged about asking your future spouse for their input. You want to make sure that it is something that they will want to wear for the rest of their life, and they will be glad that you asked. If you are set on keeping it a surprise, ask one of their close friends or family members that you (and your partner) trust.
Rule #2: NOT to follow when choosing an engagement ring:
The ring has to be perfect.
The ring does not have to be a perfect diamond ring!
You often hear about the “four C’s”: color, clarity, cut, and carat weight. But honestly, would anybody notice a tiny flaw in the gem if a salesperson wasn’t there to “helpfully” point it out? You and your intended partner should consider if you really need a “perfect” diamond engagement ring to have a happy marriage. As a matter of fact, many brides now are choosing vintage rings. Some brides are even opting for stones other than diamonds. Remember this when you are trying to choose the “perfect” engagement ring.
Rule #3: NOT to follow when choosing an engagement ring:
It has to cost a fortune to be high quality.
The engagement ring that you choose does not have to be expensive.
Tying into the above, people need to let go of the old mantra that a man should pay three months’ salary for an engagement ring. There are beautiful, classy, and affordable engagement rings available for a lot less money. A lovely $500 ring will let you save a bit of cash for your life together, and still be a constant reminder of your love and devotion. When you are choosing an engagement ring, make sure that you stay within your budget. Your future spouse will be appreciative of whatever ring that you choose.
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Rule #4: NOT to follow when choosing an engagement ring:
It has to be a diamond ring.
The engagement ring that you choose does not have to be a diamond!
It seems almost blasphemous to some, but the “rule” about using diamonds for engagement rings is relatively new. Other options are certainly available: Princess Diana selected a sapphire engagement ring (albeit surrounded by smaller diamonds), which has since been passed on to her daughter-in-law, Princess Kate. When you are considering how to pick an engagement ring, explore other options, such as your girlfriend’s birthstone or whatever gem she likes, and you may find a unique but more personal way to show your feelings. Etsy has an amazing selection of morganite bridal rings which I believe put most diamond rings to shame! But don’t take my word for it, check them out for yourself. When choosing an engagement ring, be sure to keep your future wife’s personality in mind and, if you believe that she would like another stone more than she would like a diamond, then go for it!
Getting engaged is not a decision to be made lightly, and neither is finding the symbol that will express that decision. When you are choosing an engagement ring, do not simply follow the crowd and settle for something that is not right for you and your (we’re hoping!) bride-to-be. You may come up with some interesting and fun ideas for an engagement ring that express your own personalities better than what tradition dictates.
Good luck! Keep these ideas in mind as you go engagement ring shopping, and discuss them with your partner. May you find the perfect engagement ring (whether or not it is “perfect” by outside standards) and have a long life together that is even more beautiful and special than the engagement ring that you choose.
